Woman


 egg When she began it was like all other humans, a sperm and an egg. Joining, splitting, experiencing hormones, developing buds for arms, legs, a head. A miracle in every minute. The hormones she experienced depended on those tricky chromosomes. One combination makes a female baby and another male. Hers for female, but she was unaware of this at the time.

Awareness came slowly. At first just feelings of movement, warmth, sounds. The best sound that regular beating that flowed through her, the universe beating.

 Born, healthy, naked and cold.  Into warm blankets. Blankets feeling rough on her skin at first, no more fluid, now solid things. Voices, now louder than before. A source of food, suckling greedily as she took nutrition and comfort.  20130810-070445.jpg More time passed and she grew and developed, flourishing in love and care. Learning to control her body, daily stronger, more capable. Movement now under her control. Communicating with those who loved her and cared for her.

 20130810-070517.jpg

.School years, learning, growing, having friends. Learning all the joys and sadnesses that fill a child’s life.

One special friend. Met early when they were unaware of mental differences, just connecting in the delight of seeing each other, giggling together.

The years of fun and learning.

The years of trusy and betrayal, forgiven because of the love shared. Betrayals small, loves and happiness large.

A shared joy in learning. A joy in music, dancing, words.

Teenagers together, sharing secrets. Who they liked and why, the excitement of first meetings, the spark of interest.

Growing up into beautiful young women together. Falling in love.

Ah and there is the rub. For they fell in love with the same man.

A young man of middle height and looks, a man of average intelligence. But also a man with a heart, and kindness and gentleness. A man to hold a woman’s love and never hurt her.

Our young woman feeling the devastation in her own heart when her friend excitedly told her that she had fallen in love with this man and that she knew he loved her too, was afraid she would lose both the man and her friend if she tried ti make her own claim on the man. So she smiled and hugged her friend, wishing her the best.

Of her tears on their wedding day, she simply said “I am so happy for you”.

wed

 20130810-070736.jpg While her friend lived the life of a wife and mother, content with the harmony and love in the family, our woman never let herself fall in love again. She had a career as a musician, achieving some fame and fortune,  20130810-070632.jpg
 20130810-070610.jpg Often called a woman of mystery, occasionally becoming close friends with a man, but never that same feeling. The longing to care for and be cared for, the feeling that his happiness should be before hers. Yet there was much of joy and happiness in her music, fulfilling her in ways the teenage girl would never have believed. wo
When she eventually retired from the life of singing, travelling and living mostly in a big city, she t\returned for a visit to her home town. She imagined spending time with her old friend, but when she asked. She was shocked and saddened to hear her friend had died just a few years previously.

Barely in her 60’s she realised her friend had been taken too early. She felt there was still so much to live for.

Visiting the cemetery proved fruitless at first, until she asked a man digging a grave where she could find her friend. He told her the location, and she found the stone. A simple one “Daisy, beloved wife and mother” and the dates.

So her friend too had been happy.

 grave
daisy She took to visiting the grave about once a week, sitting to talk to her friend.  Though she heard no responding chat, she felt comforted as she had done as a young girl, sharing everything with her friend.

One day, as she sat on the grass smiling at the daily bush she had planted on her friend’s grave (which was flowering very nicely) and reminiscing over the days of their youth, how she too had loved the man, and how she had slipped away to let her friend  say what she did. She sighed, “Ah Daisy, I wonder how life would have turned out if I had only told him so the day before you did.”

She heard a faint noise and turned. It was him, no doubt. Stooping a little, grey now, where he still had hair, but his eyes, still the same, with more smile lines around them.

He nodded at her and sat down on the grass next to her. He took her hand in his and said “I always wondedred why the girl I loved so much never told me so. Now I find out she had a heart as big as her voice.”

Advertisements

22 thoughts on “Woman

      1. Oh, I quite agree. Life is full of compromises and trade offs. Few get everything they want out of life and many settle for far less than that.

        And we try not to torture ourselves with the “what ifs.”

        But that’s what this story seemed to be to me ~ a wistful look at the “what ifs.” Two lives focused on regret.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s