Ambivalence


Getting older, something few of us can avoid, and that only in a James Dean fashion of dying young.

I often hear friends and family complaining about the vicissitudes of ageing.

Certainly there are quite a lot of physical drawbacks. As they say “Ageing is not for sissies”.

Yet there are also some compensations; more ‘balance’ in outlook. Less immediate reaction to nasty situations, which often means they are resolved before bad feelings can be exaggerated. One has a lot of experience to draw on. But then again, some experience in my field is outdated almost before you have it.

But then there is memory loss. I call it ‘stack overflow’. In programming terms, you allow a ‘stack’ of space for information and when it is full,  new information can not be added until the older information is processed. My problem is that I just don’t have the space to stick in these bits of information. My brain ‘stack’ has often reached ‘overflow’ state.

So all in all I’m not very ambivalent about ageing. It SUCKS!

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28 thoughts on “Ambivalence

  1. Sometimes my forgetfulness I must confess is a kind of Freudian slip. i don’t feel different just more errr… mature (and I am not happy with the stranger in the mirror).

    1. i feel like me still, that’s for sure. but some of the rough edges have smoothed. (or I just quickly forget emotions?)

      the stranger in the mirror. well its definite that mirrors aren’t what they used to be

  2. I just can’t get my head around that I’m actually “old” by some people’s standards. It hits me most when I see some of my past pupils and I can see in their faces that they are surprised to see me still alive 😉
    The “three score years and ten” are fast approaching, though.

  3. I try not to think about it, sidey. The inevitable will just happen, regardless. I only have one life, so just make the best of every day. I’m so grateful for good health. That’s the main thing, really.

  4. When there’s a thought overflow, I long for the magic of Harry Potter. Take out the bits you’re not using, and check them out later in the pensieve -)

  5. Not quite into fossilization myself, at least I don’t think so. That’s my biggest dilemma -what age is old? I have never been one for retaining a lot of shtufff in the memory bank, maybe I can beat this aging thing that sucks. Okay am a dreaming man I confess.. There is a country western song about the ambivalence of aging from a males’ perspective….’Am As Good As I Ever Was, Once’

    1. I think we all wonder if we are as good as we once were.

      Age – it’s not a point, its a sliding scale that moves at snails pace in some areas, and roars along in others.

      You notice it in not getting up as fast as you used to, when you have to stop and THINK why you came into the room etc….

    2. Most days I think I’m much better than I ever was… but then there’s those darn mirrors, and the scraping for words or, yeah, wondering why I came into the room…

    1. The scariest movie I ever saw was Iris. About Iris Murdoch and her progress from a lovely vibrant intelligent woman into a little scared shell of herself.

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