Watching the latest movie about Marilyn Munroe got me thinking about those women (maybe there are men like that too?) who desperately want to be loved (don’t we all, just the degree seems to be so much more intense for some).
The need creates an air of vulnerability which many find attractive, and when they too have the physical graces they do find those who desire them, maybe even love them. But their need drives the person away.
The desperate situation of them wanting, desperately needing, to be loved as they want to be loved, and their partner unable / unwilling to cope with the demands backs away, leaves or worse; stays and is cruel.
From a distance they seem so desirable, so wonderful, that there are often many admirers who profess love.
So the vulnerable live with ‘public’ love and personal loss.
Talking yesterday to someone about this I was quite surprised to hear the comment “Then they must just grow up.” But I don’t think it is a lack of maturity, it’s a lack of self-confidence of the sort that allows a person to first like and love themselves, before wanting a bit of external love and appreciation to add that extra to their lives.
I think Shakespeare knew at least one woman like that.
Viewfromtheside's Blog 
nice post Sidey…and yes you are so right, so many women looking for somebody to love them. I wonder when they find it, do they feel fulfilled, or is it a constant need for more?
i think for many their need is so deep, no one cam meet it, and so the cycle goes on and on, maybe that was the reason behind Marilyn’s suicide?
I suspect there are many people like that and, yes, even men!
I haven’t seen/met any men like that, but there is no reason why men shouldn’t also suffer this way
You make a good point here Sidey.
*hugs*
Thanks HH
I think this comes from her childhood which was most unsettling, and I guess she felt nobody cared enough to look after her. She was not an empty head, in fact she was pretty smart. Always married the wrong man too.
😦
PS I question how much of My week with Marilyn is true and so do a lot of other reviewers that I have read.
I’m sure it was 5% accurate and a whole lot to make an ‘interesting’ movie. But she did battle to find private happiness in the middle of public adoration
so sad to need to feel dependance – but many men like the feeling that someone is dependant on them, I suppose
I think it seems attractive until they try to live with it all the time, then it becomes too much to cope with
very true
I haven’t seen the movie, but I have known women like that, who are incapable of living without a man to make them feel loved and needed. I suppose I’m lucky, in that marrying so young, I never had the opportunity to find out whether I would be one of them.
You seem to have a great relationship, which is probably caused by not having an insatiable need to be loved
I certainly agree with you Sidey! It is more a lack of self-confidence in their own worthiness. I believe it also points, many times, though not all, to a lack of positive nurturing and lack of demonstrable love when they are young. Too many of them don’t realize that love is a two-way street, and very difficult to maintain if it is one-sided.
I love the quote from Rita Hayworth, who also had difficulties with being admired for her beauty and roles, but not loved for who she really was. She said, “Thy go to bed with ‘Gilda’ (her most famous role), and they wake up with reality. They don’t want the reality.” I think that Marilyn suffered from some of that, but she also seemed to me to be someone who wanted to receive love in the same way and same fashion as she gave it, and was unable to equate the love she received as real love – even when it may very well have been, just expressed in a different way.
Her whole life was bittersweet and sad I think. Her early death deprived all of us with her growing and expanding talent.
The stories are usually sad, no lasting happiness or even contentment. Definitely people to feel pity for.
I think you are right, Sidey. You’ve got me thinking 🙂
its something to ponder
Difficult one this actually…
Could be a little bit of everything.
But the main thing is – know yourself, enjoy yourself anf love yourself – everything else will happen as it should…
Maybe I should start practicing what I preach!!
accepting oneself can be the hardest thing we ever do
Being around “needy” people (like the Marilyn depicted in the movie) gets OLD fast . . . for me, at least.
They are extremely self-centered in their constant demand for external validation. While they focus solely on what they want/desire, they cause untold problems for those orbiting around them.
Good post, Sidey. Lots of “meat” to digest. 😀