Yesterday I happened to overhear a conversation. At lunch time, driving from the Netstar fitment place (it’s STILL NOT WORKING) back home at lunch time, I popped in at the bead shop to get something to finish off a present for later this week.
There are a bunch of women, wealthy, and who have never worked, with the free time to spend whole days together chatting and creating bead stuff. I’d heard about them from the woman who teaches. I’ve seen them there previously and their conversations were (from the bits I overheard) about husbands, holiday trips, children. The almost expected conversation of married women together.
I thought about it, and I find the time I sneak in to bead is quite rewarding, but doing it for a whole day every week, no thanks.
But there I go wandering off again. Butterfly mind needs reprimanding again.
Their conversation had me riveted. They were talking about women who are widowed, or divorced (I think it never occurred to them that some of us don’t actually get married at all!) and how difficult it is as friends start excluding them. They decided most do it because they are scared these friends will be desperate enough for a man to steal their husbands.
Their talk went on, and I realised they seemed to think that people HAVE to come in pairs. Otherwise there is something not quite right about them. Single women for them are a bit like insects to examine. Very different from themselves.
That conversation lurked in the back of my mind as I drove home. Then I realised they are very different. Each of them is a part of a pair, they think in twos.
A conversation last week with a friend surfaced in my mind. She and I are both single and have worked hard for what we have. I realised we each seem to have a clearer idea of who we are, separate from having another half to use to fill in gaps or cover up lumps.
I began to suspect that the ‘friends’ who have become single start to develop an independent identity and no longer fit in with the ‘couples’ mindset. They start to be an uncomfortable presence in that world, like a hard lump in the custard. Maybe that is why they slip outside of the circle?