I have recently faced some situations in which I have so longed to shout and be rude, but an upbringing of the more genteel kind made me desist and take the path of smiling and talking quietly. Today I was wondering how you would react in some rather difficult situations, of the kind one encounters now and then..

1) You discover someone who pretended to be your friend has been spreading gossip about you. Do you

a) Pick a public fight with them over it

b)Greet them as though you don’t know and be kind to them then quietly tell everyone you know that they confided to you they have a serious STD, but that it is a secret.

2) At a restaurant, you were eyeing the end of the bottle of Merlot, and someone reaches past you, grabs it and drinks from the bottle. Do you

a) Point out loudly that the person has stolen from you, create a scene and refuse to pay your bill

b) Smile and say, “Oops sorry; that was the one we put the rat poison in”

3) Your new lover (George/Susan) calls you by someone else’s name during the heights of passion. Do you

a) Say “I love you Fred/Mary”

b) Start to argue rudely before they have finished

4) You come across a man with a dripping sack. You ask what is in it. He replies “I just drowned the kittens”. Do you

a) Start swearing at them for such cruelty

b) Smile sweetly; tell them how brave they were to conquer such fearsome creatures while you slide a rapier between their ribs.

5) You are waiting for the previously parked car to leave the parking bay so you can park, after driving around for 15 minutes to find someone leaving. A noisy smaller car zips into the place cutting you off and scraping your bumper. Do you

a) Hoot loudly and yell obscenities at them

b) Smile, wave them in and the wait for them to go and slash two of their tyres

6) You arrive at a very special occasion wearing a designer dress/suit, guaranteed to be a one-of-a-kind. Your ex is there, with a really disastrous partner, and they are wearing exactly the same outfit. Do you

a) Start a fight with your ex just to show you don’t care

b) Smile and whisper – isn’t it amazing what one can get for R100 these days?

16 thoughts on “Manners

  1. 1. Avoid him/her like a plague.
    2. Give him/her a deadly look and think “prick”
    3. Get out of that place and wish to never set my eyes on him again.
    4. Watch him in horror until he dissappears.
    5. @
    6. Make some excuse to the host and get out of there.

  2. I’m sure the best way to deal with them would simply be to keep quiet and walk away, but some of the option b’s sound pretty darn good!

    Enjoy your lunch 🙂

  3. Ooh, Sidey…in a deliciously nasty mood I see! One of the mean ones I remember is gluing the offender’s windscreen wipers down – no, it wasn’t me who did it 😀

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