Then I remembered his wedding present. I slipped off the bed and rummaged in my suitcase until I found it. I gave it to him and happily settled down to watch his face when he saw it.
His face fell when he saw the picture, then turned stoney. He dropped it on the floor, got out of the bed and walked through to the living area. I heard the clink of a bottle on a glass. He didn’t come back, so I walked through and found him sitting naked on the sofa, drinking from a glass of undiluted scotch.
I asked what was wrong, and he said he didn’t really think a picture of a pregnant slut was the right way to start our marriage. I replied that I had met her and she wasn’t a slut.
He said, “Let’s forget her then”, took another drink from the glass and reached out for me. Holding my hand he asked me to model the underwear and pearls for him. So I went and put on high heels, brushed my hair and walked back as though I was a model.
“You are my most beautiful wife” he said smiling again.
That was when I made the mistake. “We really do need to go over those contracts tonight so I can drop them off at the attorney tomorrow before I leave” I said. “but I can’t find them. Do you know where I put them”.
“I tore them up” he said. “Either you love me enough to trust me to look after you, or you don’t love me. Anyway you will need to sign over your company shares to me so that I become the director and you can stay at home and look after me and our children.”
I replied “Those were my parent’s presents to me for many years; there is no way I’m giving them away”.
He stood up and came to me, towering over me, “You will be my wife and you WILL obey me” he shouted. “What?” I replied, too shocked to say more.
“You are always going against me, asking too much of me” he shouted, then he raised his hand and hit me across the face. I staggered back, and suddenly he was hitting me all over. I ran into the bedroom to escape and tripped, falling on the bed. He pinned me down and saying “I love you, you must not fight me” he raped me.
This drunken rapist was not my Philip, the tender lover.
When he finished, he fell asleep almost immediately. He was lying half across me, I pushed him off and went into the bathroom. My lip was already swelling, and my eye puffy. I bathed my face in cold water, then realised I felt very soiled. So I ran a bath and lay in the warm water for hours.
How could this have happened? I loved him. He loved me. He always wanted to look after me and protect me. He had been very drunk, so there was no point in waking him up to talk now. I cried and cried.