When I stopped feeling ill every morning I began to feel really well and happy again. My pregnancy is progressing normally. Theresa and I together took up an Aqua based class for fitness as the water offers the support one needs during pregnancy. She is a little erratic sometimes, and I have to push her sometimes to make the class every two days. I have started myself on other exercises to strengthen my back and stomach muscles so that I don’t end up with a lot of backache.
We are still very happy and content together. Planning for our baby.
Theresa has found two more biggish clients in the country, so her MD has allowed her to start a branch here in the capital. This means that we will continue living here. So we decided the apartment is too small for us and have started looking for one with two bedrooms and access to a garden or very close to a park.
It seems that I will be the one staying home with the baby at first.
We want to both be parents to the baby, and so the birth will have to be in Theresa’s home country, so that she can adopt and be a co-parent.
As (unlike some countries) there is no legal marriage for two women in either country, we have decided to draw up a contract that will be binding in either country. The advice we received from both of our parents seemed very sound. Create the contract that will be fair to all three of you should the relationship go wrong, then sign it and put it away in a drawer and start living as though you will never need it.
We have a lawyer in each country working with us on the issues that would be important, financial responsibilities, care of the child, visitation rights etc. We think that if we each have equal responsibilities and benefits then neither will feel left out.
Creating this (a bit like a marriage contract) has made both of us realise just what a big step it is we have taken. We discuss everything, how we will manage things between us, how we will make decisions. What is joint money and investments, and what is private to each.
Along the way we have had a lot of laughs and fun too. It’s not all serious stuff, but as we make more and more decisions, we feel closer to each other. I guess this is love, showing how much we care, not just emotionally, but also in responsibilities.
Theresa makes friends with people quite easily, and so our friends in the city have started slowly to increase in number. We have a rather active social life, it is great fun.
On a trip to see my parents for a weekend, we ran into an old school friend of mine, Liesel. She too is pregnant, and we laughed together, proudly comparing the first little bump of stomach that is starting to show on each of us.
Liesel is to be married in a few weeks, in our home town. We have been invited. Her fiancée works as artistic director for a glass company that is Theresa’s first client in my country. It’s a new project and so far is doing rather well.