The weekend theme (Charientism, the art of the veiled insult) gave me some interesting research. One of the people so competent at insults, open and veiled was Winston Churchill. Often they were just like a sledgehammer, but occasionally they were more subtle, somewhat like a thin knife slyly slipped between the ribs.
So I did a bit of research and came up with these, from several online sources, but all seeming to carry his method of insulting.
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” –George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.” –Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” WC to GBS
Mr Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right
A sheep in sheep’s clothing – WC on Clement Atlee
He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened
WC on Stanley Baldwin
Lady Astor to Churchill “Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison”
Churchill: “Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it”
Bessie Braddock to Churchill “Winston, you’re drunk!”
Churchill: “Bessie, you’re ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober”
WC on the voter The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter.
A modest man, who has much to be modest about. WC on Clement Attlee
Young man (after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands): At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet.
Churchill: At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands.